Fear

So I have a problem.  Fear of success I think it is.  My novel is complete, ready to be prepared for publication.  There’s no reason I couldn’t throw it up on Amazon as an e-book next week.  But I find myself procrastinating.  As much as I want to write, there is a part of me, equally as large — perhaps larger  — that doesn’t want to. After everything I’ve done, I’m scared to take that last step. Actually publish it.  I don’t really know why, but I am.

So I have conceived the idea of serializing my novel on one of those amateur writer websites, Wattpad or Jukepop or such, as an intermediate step between  … nothing …  and fully, publicly publishing..  It’s complete, so I would be able to upload chapters rapidly, and maintain interest among the readership.  I’ve long since given up any idea of earning a living by writing.  I just want people to read what I write. On one of these sites, I could get some feedback, have some interaction with the reading public, maybe get over some of my fear.  Gain some experience, however half-assed, at publishing and being in the public eye.

What would be better would be for me to bite the bullet, and just publish it.  But for whatever reason, I can’t bring myself to do this right now.  So, going the website route—would this be a productive recognition of my limitations and an attempt to work within them, or a bullshit, craven move that is really just procrastinating?

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3 Comments

Filed under procrastination, writing

3 responses to “Fear

  1. Kyle

    I started writing a novel too because I wanted to write a novel. I have not had it reviewed or edited in any way. Right now it’s just for me and it makes me happy. I believe you are way further down the path to publishing. I think your fear is that someone will pick apart your novel which is personal and that would feel like a personal attack. My thinking is I don’t care about a profit either I just want one other person to read my work. I really don’t care what the reader thinks as long as they think at all and if I played a role in that happening I am happy. Publish to the biggest audience you can and let the audience think.

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    • No, it’s not the critiquing, I think. I belong to a writer’s workshop and I am quite used to having my work critiqued. I had this same novel absolutely ripped to shreds by a writer friend who really didn’t like it, and I was able to handle it. I didn’t even cry. No, it’s even more dysfunctional than that.

      Thanks for your comment, though. Your final advice is good.

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